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Cornered by the opposition, intellectuals,
industrialists and foreign
investors for non-performance and
policy paralysis, the UPA government
decided to overhaul the ministry
and rejuvenate it with some new
blood. The following is the brief
account of one such brainstorming
sessions.
"We need to do something and
something very quickly. Otherwise
people will throw us out in next
elections," said a nervous looking
PM while addressing the party seniors.
"Our main problem is inflation
and poverty and unless we tackle
these problems on a war footing,
2014 elections will be a closed chapter
for us."
"That means we have to replace
the Finance Minister," said Jairam
Ramesh who has been eyeing the
ministry for some time. "Why can't
we make Praful Patel the Finance
Minister? He has successfully
brought down Air India and he may
be able to bring down inflation too,"
said an NCP member.
"If we have to win over rural population,
we have to take measures to
avoid hunger among the poor rural
people," said an old hand in Congress.
"Then request Anna Hazare
to become the Minister for Poverty
Alleviation," suggested a Congress
MP from Maharashtra. "Why? He is
not from our party. But still we can
think about it if we have solid reasons
to believe that he can help in
removing rural poverty," asked a
curious looking PM. "He may not be
able to do away with hunger but may
teach poor people how to live with
hunger," replied the MP citing the
veteran Gandhian's capacity to
carry on fasting for weeks.
"How about making Baba Ramdev
the Minister for Poverty Alleviation?"
came a voice from the last bench. "I
heard that he can help to make one's
ends meet." "Common man, he is
talking about Padahastasana, a toe
touch exercise. It cannot solve their
problems but may make them more
hungry as that asana improves
digestion," said Khurshed Alam
Khan. By now the PM has lost his
patience and shouted, "Stop this
nonsense. Jairam is doing a good
job and no change is required."
"Power is an important portfolio
and we need a fulltime minister to
look after that portfolio," suggested
an MP from North. "Make Moily fulltime
power minister and relieve him
of Corporate Affairs Ministry," said
an MP from Karnataka. "Who can
then take charge of MCA?" asked
the PM. "Abhishek Singhvi is the
best bet. He has the experience of
many affairs. He can manage it
well," suggested a young MP from
Mumbai. "We are talking about Corporate
Affairs and not personal
affairs," an irritated Chidambaram
replied.
With no worthwhile suggestions
forthcoming from members, the PM
decided to adjourn the meeting to
some other day.
Disclaimer
News spoofs appearing on PM Spoofs are works of fiction. Readers are advised not to confuse these with real incidents. Any resemblance of spoofs to actual people, living or dead, or events, past, present or future, is purely coincidental.
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